The "Kancho" and other joys of being an ALT

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The "Kancho" and other joys of being an ALT

Written by cody Thursday, 29 July 2010 00:00

For those that don't know, the 'Kancho' is the bane of the ALT (Assistant Language Teacher). You take your hands and clasp them together with both index fingers pointed out. Your hands should look like a gun, the index fingers being the barrel. Now you simply wait until one of your friends has their back turned, then ram your index fingers into their butt and yell "Kanchoooooo!". In the States this would be considered sexual harassment or even assault, in Japan this is considered a hilarious joke.

School age children do it to each other all the time and sometimes they do it to their teachers. I have been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of more than one Kancho. This is by far the worst part about being an ALT. On the other hand, there is a feeling of acceptance because the students don't do this to random people. If you are Kancho'd then it means they consider you a friend. This is simply part of being a foreign teacher in Japan and is a right of passage that all ALT's eventually go through.

The Kancho is not the only thing in my students' arsenal of physical and mental assault. Several students have slapped my butt, caressed my chest, and tapped/poked my groin. Last week one of my students managed to slap my taint then drag his hand back between my buttcheeks. I never thought I would have to use that much self restraint not to strangle a 13 year old boy. For reasons that I cannot explain, it is always the boys that do this, which is one reason I tend to enjoy talking to female students more.

Another thing students enjoy is saying dirty words in order to get a rise out of me. This is better then being physically assaulted, by far, and the first time a student says "special penis" is even kind of funny. But after being asked "Do you like big bust?" for the tenth time that week by the same group of 12 year old boys, it gets annoying. Another question that they have started asking is "Do you have big penis?" to which I mentally respond "bigger then yours" or "your mom doesnt seem to mind".